Why Cant I Be Still?

Why can't I sit still?

Why do we find it so difficult to just be still. Its as if the fight flight freeze response gets activated as soon as we completely "stop". We struggle, we fight, we reach for things, we go off daydreaming lost in our thinking, we do anything we can to distract ourselves from Now.

There is a simple explanation for this, and the answer is Trauma, unprocessed pain.

When we stop and be still all the trauma, the unprocessed pain, everything that is stored in our body's and our unconscious that we have accumulated surfaces. And instantly we feel that subtle sense of panic, we must get away, we must do something.

Our whole society is built on distraction. Imagine how many things would go out of buisness if people didn't have the compulsion to escape themselves.

Check within yourself, be still for a moment and notice how uncomfortable it really is for you. What happens in your body when you stop for a moment?

Notice what comes up and breathe with it. Stay with it, keep your attention on it.

The more still we become, the more we see how traumatised we all actually are. Our whole society is traumatised, our culture is traumatising to live in, I’m only stating the obvious everybody actually knows this, just many are in denial.

This pain is what drives us collectively, its collective pain. Meaning it belongs to and lives in everyone. It drives our decisions, our parenting, our behaviours and the way we relate to each other and our earth. When we become conscious of it, we see it as the driver behind majority of human activity. I call it our Collective Human Shadow, but we can just simply call it humanity's driver.

If we don't learn to be with the pain, and stop bypassing and escaping it, it will continue to drive us. I have said before I know many many people who have put themselves in early graves by attempting to escape this pain.

Can you begin to notice what pulls you out of yourself? Can you remain present to yourself, for yourself? As often as possible return attention into now, into your body and be with whatever arises. Inhale the uncomfortable feelings, bring them right in, and on the exhale soften into them that little bit more.


Matt Nettleton

Senior NRAM Facilitator and Trainer


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