"Why Cant I Relax?"
Our bodies crave surrender, they crave to just "Be", but as we relax deeply into now the first thing we meet is resistance.
"What will happen if I fully stop? Ill Die! Nothing will get done! Ill disappear! What about my family, my job!? I can't just completely let go!"
The deeper the relaxing into the moment, the deeper the fears that present themselves, and the more the mind will try to convince you as to why you can't just stop completely.
Notice all the tensions held in your body, notice the holding on in the belly area, the tense feeling in the legs, the restlessness and unease that says "move! go! do something!". These are trauma's and everyone harbours them, its only a matter of degree as to how much we hold.
So learn to just be with the tensions, the pains, the urgency, the restlessness, and breathe with those. They will let go and soften in their own time.
But please, stop running away from them. In truth, they cannot harm you, your fear of them is a far greater cause of you’re suffering.
If you don't learn to be with them, they will continue to drive you, and cause destruction all around. They are screaming for attention, screaming to be seen and felt.
Whatever you refuse to face within yourself will continue to make your decisions for you. You will believe they are who you are, and you will believe you are making the decisions, but really its the running away from these feelings of fear, of lack and deficiency that are driving you, and then in the end, you will have lived your life never truly living, only avoiding and running away from yourself. Playing out patterns of addiction and destruction to varying degrees.
By seeing clearly that all the things within yourself you have been running from your whole life are nothing more than mirages appearing as monsters. You can stop running, and you can welcome them, and relax into here and now.
Senior KI Facilitator and Trainer