We have all heard the saying:
"What you resist, persists."
On some level we all know this to be true. But yet, just knowing this doesn't seem to help all that much. We still resist, we still fight against things internally and externally, we still struggle even whilst knowing on some level we are throwing petrol on the fire and causing ourselves more suffering.
Why is this?
So much of our resistance is unconscious, we are not aware of how deep our resistance goes. There are belief structures and mind patterns happening below the surface that are struggling against anything that appears. So basically we resist unconsciously, its innocent and we can't actually help it. Its like someone else that we have no control over, and are unaware of is doing the resisting for us, parts of our psyche that we don't even know about.
Sometimes in a tragic event everything lets go, and we stop resisting and it all comes out. Other times we have resisted things to the point of exhaustion, and in that exhaustion the system simply doesn't have enough energy to resist anymore, and surrender happens by itself.
Making resistance conscious:
Some Reverse Inquiry questions I get clients to ask themselves to make resistance conscious is:
"I don't mind if the way things are in this moment never changes"
"This feeling can be here forever"
“Im perfectly ok with whatever is happening”
If they feel any arguments within the system on these statements, then we know deeper down there is a form of unconscious resistance. Then the process is to allow that resistance and be with that.
Sometimes we hear things like "what you resist persists" and just in hearing that we set up another struggle, another split in our psyche, another resistance and we start resisting our resistance. We notice we are resisting things, and we think well no I don't want to resist! Setting up a fight against our own resistance, judging our judgement.
Through simple questioning, we can make something conscious, instead of moving away from resistance, we can then move toward it. Moving toward and feeling the contractions in the belly, heart, legs, or wherever it may be. We move toward these contracting energies that say "NO!" and we bring a “Yes” to the “No”.
The resistance then becomes the gateway into non-resistance. Our fighting against things can become the gateway into surrender. Our inability to relax with things becomes the gateway that sinks us into the moment.
Senior KI Facilitator and Trainer