Resting with feelings. (A daily practice)
When a feeling arises, especially if its a painful feeling our automatic reaction is to try to escape it, by thinking about it, reframing it, numbing it, ultimately we want to run away from it at all costs, I know people that have put themselves in early graves in a desperate attempt to escape their pain.
Every time we contract away from a sensation in the body the energy of that emotion gets stuck in our system, recycling, looking for liberation.
Resting with feelings means sitting with and being with the feeling. Giving up all attempt to escape it. Totally accepting it as it is, allowing it to be there without reservation.
These feelings are looking for release, and they don't release unless we feel them.
Resting with a feeling means totally giving up control. And just allowing ourselves to feel the way we feel.
Notice next time a painful emotion arises, how quick the knee jerk reaction is to try to "do" something about it, rather than just let it be.
Take a breath, and even if its just for one moment, welcome it in, welcome in the raw energy in the body, step outside of the thinking mind, and FEEL. If you catch yourself attempting to escape again in the next moment, to move away, take another breath and welcome it in, and repeat.
Do this over and over and over, until it becomes more habitual to move toward the feeling, rather than away from it.
Its an ingrained habit to move away from these feelings, but with a mindful practice all through the day we can reverse this habit. If we could all learn to do this from an early age, we wouldn't suffer depression, anxiety etc. Or even if we did, we would have a practice to welcome in depression, and it would pass on its own quite quickly.
We turn these energies into monsters, we are the ones who make them bad. If we can feel them as just raw energies without our judgemental overlay, then our aversion to them would cease, and they would process themselves.
So rest, you have tried everything. Its time now to face and embrace yourself fully. To rest, to inquire, to create space for even the parts of you you don't like.
Peace,
Matt Nettleton